where mischief abounds

Oh my goodness! Dennis totally took advantage of my not feeling well today. All the mischief he's thought of and yet restrained himself from for the whole of his existence showed itself today. Drowsily, I rested under my covers, trying to keep warm and stop coughing, and the intermittent bouts of silence concerned me. He was supposed to be playing in his room and cleaning it. That didn't happen. The first thing I found was that he'd discovered a roll of yellow streamer paper. He wrapped and tied it around table legs, the piano, the buffet, the front doorknob, and the ceiling supports in the front room (holding up what's left of the ceiling, which is soon to be ripped out and replaced--the next phase of our Great Remodel). The main living areas of the house looked like a giant crime scene. I thought it was funny and creative, and so I left it up. There were police figures and police Lego trucks patroling the area as well, and I hated to disturb their investigation. I notified Dennis that it was now naptime, and I read him a story and tucked him in. I dozed off, woken a short while later by the sound of running through the hallway. He told me he'd sent Gran a text message. Since I was in possession of my phone and his phone doesn't text, I asked him how he'd accomplished this. He told me he'd used my computer, which I will no longer leave running. I saw there on the screen a notice thanking me for extending my trial of Office X5. I wonder if this cost me anything... I've gotten no emails or anything, so who knows what he typed in! I didn't know I even had this product. He told me he clicked on the calculator icon, and that was for Quattro (and I have no idea what it does). Scary. So I tucked him back in, feeling miserable (and now a bit worried), and when he assured me of his tiredness and willingness to nap, I fell asleep again. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I heard crying soon and ran into the bathroom, where he was sniffling and applying a Band-Aid to a scrape on his thumb (no blood, thank goodness). I asked him what happened, and he replied "oh, nothing!", knowing he was supposed to have been sleeping. He finally admitted "I was trying to recycle those boxes in the living room." I went to the living room and found the shipping boxes that arrived today (that I didn't know about, since Dennis greeted the mailwoman at the door this morning and received the packages on our behalf--he set them on a chair in the front room and neglected to mention their arrival). I saw my keychain Swiss army knife open, carving a flap off a box. Thank goodness he wasn't hurt worse! This was my final warning, I'm sure, so I didn't attempt to nap again. He clearly had no nap plans himself, and I feared what else might happen. Soon David arrived home, and I saw Dennis run through the house carrying a roll of red duct tape. I warned him not to use it. David and I went to change clothes for the Christmas party with our friends tonight, and Dennis loudly announced "come see what I did with the red duct tape!". David replied "you'd better not have done anything, because Mommy told you not to!". Whatever he'd done, he quickly undid, bringing us a mostly intact roll of tape with a mangled strip attached to it. There were other things, like his bringing me a (dirty) sock filled with matchbox planes and cars because he was playing Santa, but I believe that hits the highlights. Oh! Wait! His invention! I nearly forgot about that. We went into the bathroom and found his cup, the one he uses to rinse when he's brushing his teeth, rubber-banded sideways to the handle of my water spray bottle. David asked him what it was, and he told us "that's my invention. It's a 46 Poop Sprayer--it sprays poop!". We didn't question further. The water inside still looked clear.

We caught the elf roasting mini-marshmallows over a candle, though the flame must have gone out on him sometime during the night. And the dogs gifted us with a diaper (no, not a fresh one) from somewhere in the neighborhood. Luckily, we got to the Christmas party at the Gallmans' house safely, and the rest of our evening was fairly mischief-free (unless you count when Dennis and Chloe climbed up in her loft bed and began hurling toys all over the room from their high vantage point), and he fell asleep on the way home. When I put him in bed, he whispered "I want to play some before my nap" and I told him that was fine and brought his brand new toy Jake Justice Rescue Hero (and his motorcycle) and set it on the pillow next to Dennis, who promptly rolled over and fell asleep. How will I ever make it another 24 hours, with all this Christmas excitement and hyperactivity?